its my nineteenth.

with everything that i have and accomplished, i am so contented.

i feel as if i have everything i ever wanted.

all but one thing, one thing that would fill in the colors.

maybe this year will grant me that.

il mio amore

just like the old days

vindicate me.

but oh so cruel the universe;

thy world of fantasy put asunder as dawn breaks.

I live in my very own world, a world of dreams.

troubles dissolve into the night sky.

takes my breath away.

sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.
sometimes everthing goes well,

sometimes everything goes wrong.

I have lost sight of the light and all that awaits me; darkness.
My days have become blurred and unclear.
Even in my dreams i struggle.
save me,
Father.

are you people sick? physco?
until now i still don't know what goes on in those twisted minds.
despair & sorrow, joy & contentment.
why do you all choose to enjoy pain and suffering when you can choose the latter.
i'd wish for myself to stay conscious, keep my mind in check.
although i know slowly, surely, i'm losing it too.
is there any way out?
save me.

its been a long time.

can you comprehend it all

its been a stressful week.
with the cca showcase performance and me being the "choreographer"when i was supposedly only performing inside my cca showcase group.
what should i have done?
no one took up the role,
no one bothered to do anything.
should i have left it as it were.
should i have kept my mouth shut all the way?
maybe i should have.

in any case, no ones to blame but me.
not that i couldn't be bothered with anything,
just that i have never done a choreographed a showcase.
i'd go on and on about the details but that probably wouldn't be a good excuse anyway.

the thing i am most grateful and thankful for is the PASSION AND COMMITMENT from my dancers.
that alone was really more than enough i suppose.

all these stress has really got me thinking and hoping i had someone right here with me.

I admit. I am so confused.

when i first left singapore i never expected anything much.
but the 13 days i spent in korea soon became the BEST THIRTEEN DAYS OF MY LIFE.
heres why;
the people there are extremely nice(although they are experts at queue cutting),
the weather there is so good,
the places are filled with life,
shops are filled with all the things i wanna buy.

one fine night there,
she seemed like a dream formed right before my very eyes.

a clouded mind. filled with unclear thoughts.

Devise a plan, set the plot, live the dream.

once again i'm off to korea.
todays the day, finally.
i know i should be like fired up and all but, somehow i just don't feel no hype.
why am i so messed up?

i see this really nice pair of(raw i think) jeans at uni qlo. its about 60bucks.
i think its a really good buy, but i'm gonna korea on wednesday D:

holidays are here and the mood has really started to kick in.
i'm so shagged and tired now,
but i'm all happy, satisfied and somewhat relieved cause i just got a full devilhiho armour set.

thats real messed up.
whatever happened to my other ambitions?!

yesterday, studying for electronics made me feel like giving up on life.
today, my efforts paid off. so awesome.

although there are still problems.
rf jam comp is on the 12th of march and my wisdom tooth extraction is on the 8th.
die D:

gosh i sound like such a sissy.
but,
no,
yeah,
i need to ALLOUT MY STYLE.
don't remember me for my power,
cause style is everything.

call me a stalker,
but i was caught off guard and stunned. sheesh

i don't ask for much these days

can't find you

Till I see you again.
I'll be wishing waiting hoping

thats just not cool little bro.

hey there pretty baby,
i heard you cheered for me today

annddd i'm back from bkk.
so much to talk about, i'll just start.

it was quite hectic as i woke late and had to rush everything before leaving the house. thankfully for this holiday, my parents decided to take a cab to the airport(they'd usually drive and find some cheap or free parking near the airport).

as i strolled through the airport, blank faces surrounded me.
some even seemed lost.
there was nothing much actually except shopping for fake stuff. mostly fake clothes.
the snacks were rather weird:

just flavored ice with fruit or chocolate toppings.
i know it looks rather messy.
i confess, i ate half of it then decided to blog about it. so there.
also the milk tea from mos was VERY weird:

they had this funny syrup(not in picture) to put in along with the weird creamer(just next to the cup). overall the milktea tasted weirdly refreshing :o

there was this shopping center(mah bu kong or however you spell) statue/deco i thought was cool and really liked:

okay the photo with me in its with my mum but anw its about 1.5times my height(so you can roughly estimate how big it is la huh)

on the return trip home while at the airport i saw this:

don't have to say much but i bet you know what i'm thinking right haha ;)

bought quite a few tshirts and a super nice pair of evisu 3/4 jeans.
the 3/4 evisu really made my trip i guess.

since i'm back,
!VOYAGE BON

dreams.
something all of us chase after,
but what is it made of?
it seems so close, so real like we could just reach out to touch it.
we're always there one step away, or so it seems.
when we wake, its like it never happened.
our memories of it fade quickly.
but the memories in our hearts stay
forever.

WAVES
super epic event.
skipping classes, buying koi almost everyday, playing monster hunter everyday, doing just a little bit of homework when i felt like it(okay maybe just for one day but still counts haa), buying fruit juice and eating extra servings of dinner.
that was TEH BOMB

the performances went almost perfect(for me at least HEH).
the first day was nice.
the second day was hardcore perfect.
and one thing i find really ironic; second day was the day i got stuck with fever.
i guess the hype must have killed my fatigue and sickness(well just for that short moment).
superawesome!

okay the only thing wasted was the time spent on monsterhunter and the time spent on resting the last day when i could have been out.
out making new pretty friends D:

ALSO,
thanks kwan loong for letting me hold your coffee cup when my hands were freezing,
thanks dhit for leting me your item sweater
thanks ming yi for lending me your sweater(although it was DAMN THIN LOL)
thanks nick for lending me your leather jacket
thanks pia hwee for lending me your jacket
thanks kang qi for your plastic water
thanks schizo for buying water for everyone
thanks zahran for being the the awesomest choreographerbro

wished that i could have gone with everyone to have supper and celebrate. afterall we've all waited so long for this.
the journey home was a killer;
there were no seats in the train and it was difficult just to stand still.
the walk home from mrt was the worst. it was pouring cats and dogs like really.
i couldn't run so i put on my cap and walked home.
my parents called me but i couldn't pick up cause i was in the rain.
but after everything, it felt like it was so worth it
and somehow i felt like i was home.

I should have took a photo with her! ARGH!!

Okay it's waves week and I guess things have started to turn a little stressful. When you're caught between slacking, fun, friendships, commitments and projects assignments.
somehow.

yes i took the photo got a problem with that?

see this car? i can't help but notice
that the exhaust pipe looks like a friggin USB socket

well it would be a pretty awesome plan
scheming
but awesome.

what if all that awaited you was death?
and you wouldn't even be sure of how you'd die,
but you know it'd be horrible and frightening.
you dive of of the window as an easy escape from the anxiety and fear of unexpected death that awaited you, but no matter how many times or how hard you tried to commit suicide; you lived on.
-me

gosh what a nightmare

sometimes i wonder
how nonchalant i can stay before it really all comes back to hit me.
damn it all. retarded course

what if i chose monster hunter instead O:

2010 : least memorable(for now) somehow the previous year always doesn't seem special
-so chilled out
2009 : feels like so much happened and i miss it so.
-oh so much hate
2008 : missed it too, but now 2009 seems more important somehow
-when my world crashed for the first time
2007 : can't remember much, it just feels like part of my childhood now
-so much hope
1992-2006 : pretty much the same as 2007, only more childhood stuff

i just had to post this

SUPERAWESOME HAHA

what happened?
oh nothing. choreo happened

She wore snakeskin pants
and had piercing eyes.
I guess she brought me back

anyone there?

what a series of stressful events.
i'm falling ill.
so this is school.

okay so i went clubbing anyway. felt like it was well worth it,
the:
-hanging out with everyone at melrick's
-embarrassing things i did when i was high
-nap i took on the zirca couch
maybe even the stupid cypher outside the club i tried to cc but did something else and crashed
ahh but heck it was just a nice last day nia.

school starts tomorrow. not such a big deal. i don't wanna go. lecturer always goes through important stuffs. must go. get over it. its 2011. go to school.

hold on to 2010 like your life depended